I bought my house in 1994 and moved to be closer to the university where I worked. I opened checking and savings accounts in my local Bank of America because it was close by. In 2004 when I got married, my husband and I opened a checking account in both our names at my bank. I kept the two accounts I had had for years in my own name. I also kept my own name. It was a perfectly good one and I identified with it. Six years after we got married, my husband and I put our assets, including the house but not our individual bank accounts, in a living trust in both our names – with my name first, his second. We divide the chores around the house; mine include all the financial dealings, including the banking and bills.

So why is it that the bank now sends all offers, promotions, news about loans, new savings accounts, surveys, etc. to my husband? His personal account isn’t even at B of A! Yet they called last week and would only talk to him about a survey they were doing of customers. I knitted with growing impatience as I listened to him pontificate about their exceptional service. And, yes, it was a man on the other end of the line asking the survey questions.

And yesterday, the annual statement regarding property tax came from the State – not the bank – the State. Guess to whom it was addressed?

My mother told me once that her parents bought the house I was born in as a gift to her and put it in her name. Years later when she filed for divorce, she discovered my father has taken a loan out against the house without her knowledge. The house wasn’t even in his name! But my mother was. She got the house, but had to pay off his loan.

The more things change……………

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